Category: Bitterness
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God take this pain from me
I really just want to be at the whole clothed with strength and dignity and laughs without fear of the future part of my life now please. I don’t feel strong enough to survive this pain much longer. Key word there being “I”, I guess. God needs to be my strength. I need to let…
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Losing Hope
*deep sigh* Sometimes healing doesn’t seem to be healing, it is backwards and messy and lonely. It feels like I’m not making any progress but instead I’m hurting more than I was before. Instead of progressing and working through the pain I shove it down and power through. Or shove it down and completely shut…
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The Joy of the Lord
I can only describe this time as bittersweet. Today marks 77 days since my last day at work and my heart aches for my little one I take care of. I miss everything about being a pediatric care tech and am counting the seconds until I can return to work. I miss normalcy. I miss…
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The Aftermath
Life after losing my Poppop. Mentally I have resorted back to where I was a year ago. Completely ignoring any and all tips my psychiatrist has given me to handle anxiety episodes. I am angry at God, not reading my Bible, and not going to Him for anything. I’m not believing the truth that my…
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Give it to God
Clinging to bitterness and anger like it’s my life support. On days like these, I need to take a step back and refocus on what really matters and who is really in control. My circumstances should not be dictating my mood. I should not be allowing trials and unmet expectations to make those around me…
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Turn to Joy
“Truly, truly, I say to you, you will weep and lament, but the world will rejoice. You will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will turn to joy.” John 16:20 ESV Sorrow will turn to joy. I find that so comforting! This sorrow that I am facing will turn to joy. Sorrow, mourning, pain, all of…
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His Grace
The grace and mercy of God is unbelievably overwhelming. Looking back on all of my mistakes, sins, and regrets I would never expect God to use me how He is. I am serving Him in student ministry as a life group leader for senior girls, in children’s ministry as a preschool teacher, and now starting…
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Love > Bitterness
Lysa TerKeurst has been through the wringer. Satan has attacked her and her family because she is allowing God to work through her and use her. She has been strong through it all and so filled with the grace and love of Christ. I strive to get to the place where my circumstances will not…
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You just have to laugh…
What a week it has been. On Sunday evening I had a heart episode while in the hot springs in Ouray, Colorado. Since then it has been an exhausting week of going to urgent care in Albuquerque, New Mexico on Monday, being advised not to fly, going on two flights traveling back to Pennsylvania on…
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Dear Sister
My heart breaks for you. I am in utter agony as I witness you hurt yourself in the same ways I have these past 15 years. No one deserves to battle an eating disorder. No one deserves the unbearable agony and overwhelming shame that comes with an eating disorder. An ED will take over your…
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Painful Beloved 