Category: mental health
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“It’s Just Anxiety.”
I’ve always had anxiety. My parents joked that I came out of the womb anxious. Because of this anxiety I’ve thrown up every single morning from since I was 4 1/2 years old (that’s 24 years for those of you keeping track at home). 24 years of throwing up every single morning. 24 years of…
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God take this pain from me
I really just want to be at the whole clothed with strength and dignity and laughs without fear of the future part of my life now please. I don’t feel strong enough to survive this pain much longer. Key word there being “I”, I guess. God needs to be my strength. I need to let…
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The Battle Within My Brain
I kill myself daily over and over again flipping through every single scenario in my head to figure out if I’m ruining my relationship, my friendships, my job, my family… There is a never ending investigation against myself by myself to see where I am failing, where I am falling short, where I am being…
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Life After Trauma
Life after trauma takes a bit more time…if that makes sense. Simple decisions that used to be decided in a single thought now seem to take days. And even after you’ve made a decision you rethink that every single moment until you make yourself crazy. You find yourself distracted by everything and anything and focusing…
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Forever Changed
We are hosting a fun bonfire tonight for our students and all I want to do is crawl into my bed and sob my eyes out. Something happened to me this past year that completely changed me for the worst. What used to bring me joy and excitement now brings me anxiety and dread. I’ve…
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World Mental Health Day
It was World Mental Health Day. this past Saturday and I couldn’t leave the couch. It has been weeks of long exhausting days, mentally taxing crisis situations, faking it through required social interactions, and panic attacks for what seems like very little reason. Completely overthinking to the point of making myself physically ill. I have…
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Stop Worrying
Can you do anything about what you are worrying about? Or are you giving yourself a panic attack or stomach ulcer over something you can do nothing more than pray about? Philippians 4:16 Do not be anxious about anything. I didn’t occur to me until recently that my constant anxiety and worry about literally everything…
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Time
Speaking of schedules… Something I learned during my Covid quarantine is I need me time. My schedule leading up to quarantine was dangerously packed. And if I didn’t have anything scheduled I was almost guaranteed to have a mental breakdown. Not exactly healthy. Now I am intentional with what I schedule into my life. I…
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Change
I do not like change one bit. I will probably say that I like change but that’s me just trying to convince myself I like change. The reality being change sucks. I think it’s a mental thing, I get used to things, I create expectations of life that can be met, I like schedules, I…
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Painful Beloved 