Tag: mental health
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“It’s Just Anxiety.”
I’ve always had anxiety. My parents joked that I came out of the womb anxious. Because of this anxiety I’ve thrown up every single morning from since I was 4 1/2 years old (that’s 24 years for those of you keeping track at home). 24 years of throwing up every single morning. 24 years of…
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The Battle Within My Brain
I kill myself daily over and over again flipping through every single scenario in my head to figure out if I’m ruining my relationship, my friendships, my job, my family… There is a never ending investigation against myself by myself to see where I am failing, where I am falling short, where I am being…
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World Mental Health Day
It was World Mental Health Day. this past Saturday and I couldn’t leave the couch. It has been weeks of long exhausting days, mentally taxing crisis situations, faking it through required social interactions, and panic attacks for what seems like very little reason. Completely overthinking to the point of making myself physically ill. I have…
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Change
I do not like change one bit. I will probably say that I like change but that’s me just trying to convince myself I like change. The reality being change sucks. I think it’s a mental thing, I get used to things, I create expectations of life that can be met, I like schedules, I…
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9 Verses For When Anxiety is Taking Over
Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends…
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Where is God?
Most days I ask myself where is God in all of this? Well I just haven’t been looking very hard for Him because He is everywhere. He is in every single detail. He works through my boyfriend. He works through my pastor. He calls to me on the days where I’m unable to crawl off the…
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Support System
I don’t know what I would do without my support system. My very small close knit to me circle of people is astronomically important to me. They get it. They deal with their own mental chaos as well and they don’t drop me when I accidentally go four months living as a shut in because…
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I’m Fine
One moment I’m fine. I’m happy. I’m going through my day like a normal functioning adult. I’m taking my meds, and not the emergency ones, just the maintenance ones. I can go to social functions with little difficulty. ….and the next I feel like I’m drowning, suffocating, being attacked from all sides, yet so completely…
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Reactive
My good mental health days usually start out beautifully. Imagine I’m knitting a gorgeous blanket, I’m getting so far and accomplishing so much and it’s just going so smoothly. And then a hiccup happens. A bump in the road. Something happens that severely upsets my good mental health day. I begin to unravel. That blanket…
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Painful Beloved 